Human
Relationships: Nature and Challenges
Summary: In the entire biosphere mankind
observes most diverse range of relationships. Relationships are intrinsic to
human needs. Relationships are governed by specific rules underlying particular
relationships. On one hand relationships are a human need and on the other hand
relationships are liable to abuse. Therefore for our emotional and physical
well-being we need to wisely manage our relationships.
We humans live through a variety of
relationships. Vast range of relationships we live through is unique to
mankind. No other species needs or observes so many different relationships and
in such diverse ways. Diversity of relationships is intrinsic to human nature.
There are many other species known to live in groups but do not have
relationships differentiated into mother, father, daughter, sister, brother,
spouse, grandparents etc. For example lions are known to live in groups but the
only relationship lions recognize is male female relationship with the dominant
male lion having mating rights over females of the group irrespective of
historical considerations.
Diversity of relationships is intrinsic to
human nature, as can be seen in the most primitive tribal societies as well as
the most advanced human societies. Relationships can be broadly divided into
two groups i.e. congenital and acquired. Congenital relationships may also be
designated as inherited or historical relationships being determined by birth.
Acquired relationships can be further divided into social relationships and
friendships. Social relationships may be determined by matrimonial relationship
or place of residence, education and work. Friendships are the relationships of
our own choice generally determined by companionship and mutual commitment.
Friendship is more than meeting of interest or acquaintance. It implies
emotional bonding and mutual concern.
All relationships are dynamic in character.
Dynamism is more in the case of social relations and friendships. Scope and
limits or nature and depth can profoundly vary from time to time. Relationships
may also be viewed as non-negotiated unwritten contracts among people resting
upon assurance of mutual help and concern in case of some need. But
relationships are neither a trade nor barter. However all relationships are
governed by some rules of relationship some of which may even be recognized by
law. Relationships of the kind recognized by law may be called as legally
determined relationships. If there is a mandatory legal procedure prescribed for
constitution of a legally determined relationship, then the procedure must be
complied with to constitute a legal and valid relationship.
What is
common to all relationships is the rule that in any relationship, rules of
relationship prevail over individual interest. One such rule is that in a partnership
mutual interest prevails over individual interest. Companionship, love, respect
etc. help sustain a relationship. But what really matters is compliance with
rule of relationship whether by the sheer force of commitment or love or
respect etc.
All relationships are liable to turn sour due
to various reasons. One reason being that people tend to comply with
relationships because of emotional reasons and ones emotional compulsions
vanish or better sentimental alternatives become available, the existing relationship turns
sour. Other important reasons are
vagueness of assurance, promise or rule underlying any relationship;
relationship being an undefined contract. So parties to any relationship are uncertain
as to what to expect and what to deliver. Generally people don’t deal with
their relationships prudently and pragmatically.
Therefore, either people are exploited in the
name of relationship or lose faith in relationships. The end result is the psychological
inability to establish appropriate relationship or fear of relationships. Even
this is not an acceptable situation because need for relationships is an
intrinsic need and one finds it difficult to lead life all alone.
Solution to the situation lies in understanding
role of our relations in our emotional and physical existence, clearly
understanding rules underlying different relationships and honest compliance
with the rules. We should live our relationships prudently and pragmatically.
Let our egocentricity or selfishness not spoil our relationships. At the same
time if somebody is abusing a relationship, an exhaustive attempt should be
made to make the abuser mend his ways but if the abuser is found to be
incorrigible after exhaustive efforts, then a decision to end the particular
relationship should be considered. Relationships should not be victims of our
temper tantrums or whims and fancies. We need our relations as much as we need
food, clothing and shelter, if not for material reasons, at least for our
emotional wellbeing.
Author: Dr Mahesh C. Jain is a practicing
medical doctor has written the book “Encounter of Science with Philosophy – A
synthetic view”. The book begins with first chapter devoted to scientifically
valid concept of God and then explains cosmic phenomena right from origin of
nature and universe up to origin of life and evolution of man. The book
includes several chapters devoted to auxiliary concepts and social sciences as
corollaries to the concept of God. This is the only book which deals with
origin of nature and universe from null or Zero or nothing. The book contains
two chapters devoted to law and justice respectively.
http://curatio.in
+ Mahesh Jain
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