Why Do We Need a Family?
Institution of family is probably the oldest
institution created by humans. The only other institution in competition with
institution of family is society. It is difficult to say which one preceded the
other. Even it is difficult to say, what led to emergence of institution of
family. Whether it was a prudent, pragmatic, intellectually determined decision
of entire humanity to organize humans into groups designated as ‘family’ based
on the principle of consanguinity or it has occurred spontaneously due to human preference towards
monogamy (demand for exclusivity in intimate physical relationship), relationships,
parental care of young ones, care of the sick and elderly, cultural needs etc.
But one thing is certain that it is the oldest
surviving human institution that continues to survive. Issues such as nuclear
family versus joint family continue to raise heat and dust in human society. Concept
of ‘family’ is deeply ingrained into our sense of humanity, ethics, morality
and even law. Family is a legally protected and perpetuated institution in
several of its facets. Rules of conduct within a family are quite different
from rules of conduct outside the family.
But it is equally true that technological
advances of the past and present century have enabled relatively independent
living and as a consequence existence of institution of family is apparently
threatened. Extended families have disintegrated into nuclear families the
world over, children being reluctant to bear with and discharge their
responsibilities towards their parents, in order to enjoy their individual
freedom to the hilt.
Now, with technological advancement brought in
particularly by World Wide Web, there is a talk about family of individuals
i.e. if there are four persons in a family; that is father, mother and two
children; then everybody is leading a totally independent life except the
common roof and not even that. There is very little meeting ground left among
members of a family.
Against the above background, the original
question becomes all the more relevant as to why even in today’s world we need
a family.
1.
Sentiments and relationships: We, humans, howsoever objective and rational we may
become can’t do away with our sentiments and the need to have relationships.
Reduction of human beings to conscious automaton or robots is just not
possible.
No doubt, sentiments may be ephemeral in
character but have a materialistic basis encoded in our genes and reflected as
our innate behavior. That is the reason that parents can’t deliberately hurt
their children even if they have done something wrong. People go miles and
miles to please their spouse. Children demand love and affection to grow up.
Elderly demand company of their children etc.
Relationships are a long term phenomenon and
can’t be honored without commitment. This is because each and every
relationship has its highs and lows primarily due to fleeting sentiments; and
may be conflict of interests. Relationships can be sustained only if
commitments are kept through such highs and lows. It often demands holistic
approach rather than mechanistic, single minded objective and rational approach.
Somehow only within the institution of a family
an arrangement can be provided for satisfaction of short term interests i.e.
sentiments as well as long term interests i.e. relationships. Those, who opt
otherwise, are often seen to run into difficulties.
2. Learning Curve: Human learning
curve is steep one and technological advances of the past and present century
have made it steeper. Gone are the days when age determined wisdom and
knowledge of individual, so younger ones naturally falling in line with their
elders and taking care of them in return. In several aspects of today’s life,
children are better informed than their parents. But members of a family act as
ready reckoner for each other and ever ready to provide hands on training in
case of need. The only difference between past and present on this ground is
that today relationships have become more equitable. The contribution of
institution of family towards learning curve is that it eases out or smoothes
the learning curve. Without appropriate family support even the most brilliant
of individual is liable to get reduced to merely a spoke in the wheel and earn the
title of ‘Learned Fool’.
3. Parental Care: It is amazing that
no other species except Homosapiens requires such prolonged parental care in
order to survive through Darwinian struggle for existence. But this mandates
institution of family for humans. Further, children from broken families often
have inappropriate personality development. Children need love and affection
not only from both the parents but also from their grandparents for proper
personality growth and development. It is highly undesirable to grow them up as
monsters steeped in single minded, objective and rational pursuit of
self-interest; lacking in comprehensive approach towards life and connected
matters. Qualities of character such as compassion, empathy, respect and regard
for others are more easily cultivated in a family than without.
4. Care of the elderly and the sick: Because
of advances in medical sciences, life expectancy has increased and diseases are
not such dreaded natural phenomenon as they used to be. But somebody has to
take care of individuals through their highs and lows. Nothing can beat the
institution of family in providing ground level support through thick and thin
that permeates human existence.
5. Inheritance: We all want to live
larger than life or we want to live beyond our natural death. So we all have a
desire to forward our lifelong gains to the next generation. But the issues
such as whom to transfer and how to transfer are best resolved within four
corners of institution of family.
Undoubtedly, there can be many more reasons
that mandate institution of family even today but for the sake of brevity
present discussion is limited to the above.
Summarizing all above, despite all the
technological advances of the past and the present century, human need for
institution of family has not decreased. Rather, it has increased to ease out
the learning curve through rapid technological advances and to provide care of
the elderly and the sick.
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